Thinking of adopting a dog?
Alright, fair enough. We don't blame you. They are, after all, called man's best friend for a reason. It is, however, imperitive you think long and hard before agreeing to adopt one of these little shit machines.
They say dogs look like their owners (or, maybe it's the other way around), so you need to be conscious of what message you're putting out there.
So we've compiled a list of a few popular breeds of pooch and what being an owner of them says about you:
The pug. If you own a pug it says that your missus makes all the decisions in the house. From the clothes you wear, the TV shows you watch and even what nights you are allowed out. In other words, if you own a pug, YOU are the dog in the house and your missus is your owner. And, much like a dog, you have been desexed months ago.
You may as well have just adopted a cat.
If you've adopted a 4 year old, three legged dog from the RSPCA, you may as well pick up your Australian Of The Year Award now. Chances are you spend your weekends volunteering at your local soup kitchen or cleaning up your local park. 100% every parents dream for their daughter, but there's good odds you're boring on the piss.
Good on you... I guess.
The Super Mario of dogs. Just a real consistent choice. There is literally nobody in this world who dislikes labradors. They are like the hot chips of the dog world. Or David Attenborough. One of the two.
Either way, fine choice.
See above (Pug)
You adopted a kelpie or a cattle dog? Chances are you LOVE Friday knockoffs onsite on Friday arvos (or any particularly long Thursday). You're also definitely the type of bloke who just brings a swag to Splendour In The Grass.
F**kin' oath mate.
You're a graphic designer or a creative professional. By that, I mean you still work in a cafe.
You wish you lived in Berlin, but can't save up enough money because of your MDMA habit.
You live in a fibro house in an outer suburb of one of the capital cities. Dog rarely gets walked but loves jumping in the back of your purple Lolux. The dog is probably called "Zeus" or "Rocky". Additionally, I'm going to go out on a limb here and say it's probably not the best trained dog of all time and that any guest walking through your fly screen door is greeted by a jumping ball of muscle and drool.
Still a sick dog but.